Happiness Versus PleasureWe are a pleasure seeking society. Most of us spend our energy seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. We hope that by doing this, we will feel happy. Yet deep, abiding happiness and joy elude so many people.
7 Ways To Improve Your RelationshipGood relationships don't just happen. I've heard many of my clients state that, 'If I have to work at it, then it's not the right relationship.' This is not a true statement, any more than it's true that you don't have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.
The Five Best Gifts to Give Your FamilyWhen we think of giving gifts, we usually think of things to buy for people. Yet if you think back on gifts you've been given, it might not be the material gifts you received that are foremost in your mind - it might be the kind of gifts that deeply touched your heart and soul. It might be various ways, other than material things, that people expressed their love to you.
Two Choices That can Make Next Year The Best Year of Your LifeWhat if there were just two choices you could make to insure that next year would be wonderful? There actually are, and these choices are quite simple in concept, yet not easy to do. They are not things you do on the outside, such as exercising your body (which is always a good thing to do!) but ways of thinking and being on the inside. These have to do with your attitude and your intent.
Trust Starts with You'I have a hard time trusting people.'
'I never feel like I can trust my husband (or wife).'
It is very common for me, in my work as a counselor, to hear the above statements. Trust issues abound in relationships. However, resolving trust issues is not about getting another person to be trustworthy. It's about you become a trustworthy person with yourself and learning to trust yourself.
Rediscovering Love and IntimacyWendy started counseling with me because Terence, her husband of 14 years, had just expressed to her that he wanted to end their relationship. Wendy, terrified of being alone, was panicked. Within a few minutes of speaking with her in a phone session, I understood exactly the underlying cause of their relationship problems.
Compassion - A Powerful Doorway to Personal GrowthWhat if there was one choice you could make that would change everything in your life for the better? Actually, there is. It's the choice to move out of judgment and into compassion for yourself and others.
Performance AnxietyBeverly had suffered from anxiety most of her life. As a child, she slept poorly and often had nightmares. She bit her nails and would chew on the skin around her nails until they were raw and bleeding.
Resistance to LovingI have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for the last 35 years, and I am the author/co-author of eight published books on relationships and emotional healing. In the course of my work, I've seen thousands of people get stuck in misery, even when they knew how to move into their peace and joy. How often do you get stuck in the anger, anxiety, withdrawal or depression of
Anniversary BluesJamie and Kurt are a sweet, successful couple in their early thirties. In spite of loving each other deeply, they often find themselves in conflict over seemingly minor issues, as most couples do. Recently, just one week before their wedding anniversary, they had a particularly hurtful argument. Jamie had expressed her unhappiness about Kurt's busy schedule and the limited time he finds to spend w
Control, Helplessness, and LoveDuring my 35 years of counseling individuals, couples, families and business partners, I have discovered that an important purpose of our controlling behavior in our relationships is to avoid the feeling of helplessness. One of the hardest feelings to feel is helplessness. Most of us are unwilling to even know what we are and are not helpless over. Our controlling behavior toward others generally
Telling the Truth - or NotHaving counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for the past 35 years, I have often encountered people struggling in their relationships about whether or not to tell their truth to someone important to them.
The Difference Between Approval and AppreciationHaving worked with individuals, couples, families and business partners for 35 years, helping them learn to resolve conflict, I have often been faced with the difficulties that occur when people are confused about the difference between approval with appreciation. Have you ever wondered about the difference between approval and appreciation? Most of us have never actually thought about it, yet if
BEING AN EMOTIONAL VICTIMNone of us like to think of ourselves as victims. The term 'victim' brings to mind a pathetic image of a person who is powerless. Therefore, It comes as a shock to most of us to realize how often we allow ourselves to be emotional victims. Having counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for 35 years, I know that many of us are victims much of the time without realizing it.
Accessing Your Spiritual GuidanceFor the last 35 years, I have been working with individuals, couples and families, as well as business relationships. I have 8 published books on relationships and healing, some of them best-sellers. In the first half of my career, I worked as a traditional psychotherapist, and was not happy with the results. In the last 18 years I have worked with a process called Inner Bonding, which is a powerf
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