Make It Easy to Say No

By: Steve Kaye Posted on: 2006-07-17 ** Print Article ** ** Copy Article ** - Category Feed

Article Summary: The way that you say "no" tells a lot about you. Here's how to do it, easily and with class.

It feels good to say "yes." And yet sometimes we have to say, "no."

Here's how to do it with class:

1) Be Courageous

Some people feel afraid to say "no." They may either expect a hostile reaction or they want to be helpful. As a result, they end up inconveniencing both themselves and the other person.

Recognize that it is okay to say "no." In fact, most people would rather receive a solid "NO" than an insincere "yes."

2) Decline Early

You will save time, energy, and stress by declining offers as soon as you realize that you do not want them. Unanswered questions follow us like hungry orphans, crying for our attention. And our stress increases as their numbers grow. Rescue yourself from this dilemma by making choices sooner rather than later. Of course, agree if you want to. Otherwise, decline.

3) Take an Active Role

Some people attempt to say "no" by ignoring the other person. While this may be an acceptable way to deal with junk mail and telemarketing calls, it is a terrible strategy where you know the other person. It is especially rude when you have asked someone to do something, such as send information, prepare a proposal, or call you back.
If you want to avoid talking to someone, call when that person will be away from the phone (e.g., during lunch, late evening, or on a weekend) and leave a message. It might be:

"Hi, I'm calling about your offer. I have no need for this."

or,

"Hi, I'm calling about your request. I am unable to help."

Otherwise, send this message by e-mail, fax, or regular mail.

In all cases, keep the message brief, avoiding explanations or apologies. Just say "no" and move on.

4) Use the Magic Phrase

The magic phrase that ends a request is: "I wish I could."

The complete reply includes: an acknowledgment of the offer, the magic phrase, and a request or an alternative possibility.

Here's an example of how this might work in a sales situation. "I understand that you want me to buy a pedigree hamster for $20,000. I wish I could. Please take my name off of your list."

You can also use this for personal situations. For example, you could say, "I understand that you want me to take care of your six children and five dogs next month while you go on a vacation. I wish I could. Perhaps you can take the children with you and put the dogs in a kennel."

Article Source: http://www.upublish.info

About the Author:
Steve Kaye
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Steve Kaye helps leaders hold effective meetings. He is an IAF Certified Professional Facilitator, author, and speaker. His meeting facilitation and leadership workshops create success for everyone. Call 714-528-1300 for details. Visit http://www.stevekaye.com for a free report.

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