From Career Girl to Step Mom - written by Sheena Berg

Today, many women have shattered the glass ceiling in their professional lives. Climbing the ladder isn't easy; it is the result of significant years of hard work, serious dedication to education and advanced job training, and an intense focus that often puts a personal life on the sideline. Invariably, single, successful, career women suddenly discover themselves in love, and many times the partner of their dreams is a divorced man with kids.

Becoming an instant stepmom may be the most difficult task a successful career woman will take on. Even though she has earned and enjoyed an accomplished professional life, the complex demands of step parenting can confuse, discourage, and create a lack of confidence in even the most capable career woman. Unlike in professional life, these women may be unprepared for the pitfalls so common in this new personal relationship dynamic and for the first time, may feel confused with feelings and issues that are unexpected and perplexing. In the struggle that can be isolating and self defeating, women pose many questions: What exactly is the role of step mother? Should I be a friend or a disciplinarian? Is it common to feel frustrated about having to share a new husband with insistent kids? What about the ex spouse? How do you figure out money issues? How do I juggle the job, the new marriage, and time for myself and still feel balanced and in control? And will this ever be fun and fulfilling?

Like the capable professionals they are, career women look to experts for answers but often find nothing but a clutter of parenting and step mom books that don't address their unique and specific needs. Fortunately, a successful career woman who became an instant step mother to three young children has written the book she wished she had available when she began her amazing journey from single, successful industry leader to being a rookie in the bullpen of step mothering.

A Career Girl's Guide to Becoming a Stepmom by Jacquelyn B. Fletcher is the definitive guide that speaks the language and portrays the shared experience of career women. And, as it addresses every important issue about being a step mom, the book combines a real life perspective, a positive attitude, and a realistic approach that focuses on solutions, never on defeat or negative compromise. This best-selling book is based on her own experiences and valuable contributions from experts in the field: adult step children, and other respected career women turned step mothers. Jacquelyn writes with understanding, compassion, and business-like clarity.

The recurring theme is the utilization of practical assets from a successful professional career in the new job of step mothering. Jacquelyn focuses on organization, goal setting, negotiation, dealing with difficult co workers, delaying gratification for long term success, networking, problem solving, creative brainstorming and team building. Each chapter begins with a Career Girl's Personal Assistant note that highlights specific challenges and opportunities and helps frame the strategy for reaching the goals around each topic presented--just like in the professional world. Every chapter concludes with Discussion Topics for Two that essentially form the structure for action steps that will make the biggest difference in creating a happy healthy blended family where everyone feels loved, valued, connected, and hopeful. This could describe "The Payoff" which Jacquelyn describes in the last chapter.

One of the most important ideas in the book is comparing a new job to the new family. In a new job, "you must learn the culture before you can be effective". The learning curve is steep and it's essential to spend time, to build new relationships, to ask questions, to comprehend the dynamics of the company, and in return, disclose information about yourself so the new co-workers can know you and trust you. The fundamental professional skills of listening and learning are equally important in a family as in a company.

Reading the book is one method to learn more about Jacquelyn's business-based strategies for a successful step mothering role. If you would like to speak to Jacquelyn directly, join Emily Bouchard on January 15, 2009 when she will interview Jacquelyn as part of www.blended-families.com "Ask the Expert" series. Submit your most urgent question and join the conversation.