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Custodial Father Household

Article Summary: There has been a massive increase in the number of custodial father household. This could be attributed to various factors, essentially death of spouse or explosive divorce rate in the UK. Never-married fathers also increasingly seek the custody of his dependent child.

Several other factors account for this increase in number of such households. In case of divorce, behaviour of mother also plays a significant role in contributing to this escalating numbers. Unlike ancient days, women now increasingly choose to pursue career over family interests. Differently abled or psychiatric mothers unable to take care of their children also support father custody. Mothers remarrying and moving with new partners also tend to relinquish custody of child.

More importantly, present day fathers are more willing and supportive as full-time caretakers than those in the past. Surveys also suggest that mostly the custody by fathers is gained by mutual agreement and not through court battle.

While much public attention and research has been done on single custodial mothers, relatively little attention has been given on single custodial fathers. A research report suggests that there is almost no significant difference in parenting by either parent having the custody of the child. While fathers hold slight edge over their counterpart in terms of income, education and stability (not moving out of their home and community in case of divorce), mothers score over their ex-spouse on child rearing and understanding their behaviour and feelings.

The most concerning issue expressed by single, custodial fathers is about childcare, as is the case with most of the working parents. It is even more stressful for single fathers with children between the tender age of 5 and 11 years. Striking a healthy balance between work and children is quite stressful. They feel that they are being judged and tend to judge themselves with their success at work.

Single fathers also struggle to establish and being comfortable with daughters, especially if they have adolescent daughters. Striking a comfortable relationship with an appropriate level of closeness with daughters will always remain an emotional challenge for single fathers. Tackling this issue successfully, single fathers should understand the importance of female mentors in their daughter’s life. For some this role can be taken up by grandmother, aunt or any other family member. For others, the mentor could be friend’s mother, coach, Girl Scout or a church youth leader. Successful dads are sensitive towards these issues and are upfront and honest in these matters.

Impact of Divorce on Children

Divorce has a profound effect on children. They go through a complete emotional turmoil. Research has found that in majority of cases children blame themselves for this break-up. These negative feelings are strong and confusing. They can feel terribly sad or angry because their parents have divorced. They may also feel happy that their parents have split up and are not fighting any more. These emotions and confused feelings due to the break-up are sometimes extremely stressful and should be handled with great care.

There may be times when kids wish they could also have their family with both the parents around. Single fathers should communicate with them as often as possible and should be treated on priority. It requires time, patience, willingness and lot of understanding of child’s psychology. They should be involved in various activities. Teach them to solve their own problem. Instead of being overprotective, be a coach and help them to work out their solutions. Overprotective approach might force them to either rebel, especially with young adult children or make them completely dependent on the single parent.

Responsibilities of Children Staying with a Single Parent

The responsibility of a child increases when he stays with a single parent. The single parent, be it a mother or father, finds it difficult to spend quality time with their children. The child should be able to understand that the single parent has to do the work of two. It’s not that single parents don’t like to spend time with their kids. In fact they are looking for an opportunity to do so. Here comes in the role of the child.

The child in association with the parent’s help can organize family meetings. They can discuss the family’s schedule for work, school, and activities. The household chores also need to be discussed and responsibility shared.

In spite of a busy family schedule, kids can make a difference by helping out around the house. Kids can be a major stress buster for single parents and a means to remind them that they can also have a little fun.

Article Source: http://www.upublish.info

About the Author:
James Walsh
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com