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Titled: Coaching Skills Training - The Coaching ARROW - A moment to Reflect
Coaching Skills Training - The Coaching ARROW - A moment to Reflect
Article Summary: Previous articles in this series have considered the first two parts of the Coaching ARROW; Aims and Reality. This article examines the third step; Reflection
The reflection stage of the ARROW sequence provides the person being coached (the coachee) with an opportunity to reflect on what's been uncovered so far. Depending on the underlying issue and how much time is available for coaching in one session, Reflection may prove to be a minor or major piece of the whole process.
It is often in this part of the coaching process that true enlightenment happens; what some have described as 'ah-ha' moments.
Creating time is often auseful tectic here and some coaches have had great success in stopping a coaching session after Aims and Reality and leaving the coachee with certain Reflection questions to think about before they meet up again to explore Options and the Way forward.
It's important to realism that the coaching ARROW is simply a questioning framework, and it is not possible for us to coach effectively simply by reeling off the questions. The model must be used flexibly and at all times the needs and agenda of the person being coached must take priority.
We must use the Reflection stage with great care, as it may be that the coachee has been reflecting subconsciously as they have answer the questions under Aims and Reality. In truth, it is worth encouraging the people we coach to reflect continuously throughout the session and if necessary refine their aims or review the reality of the situation. Reflection is conveniently located between Reality and Options because it helps spell ARROW, but reflecting, revising, going back over and jumping forward are perfectly reasonable and indeed essential steps of working flexibly with ARROW or any other sequence.
Let's now consider the sorts of things coaches can encourage their coachees to reflect upon. When using Reflection as a defined step in the sequence I like to ask my coachee to consider how big a gap there is between their Aims and their Reality. It may be that on relflection the Aims now seem a little conservative or perhaps over optimistic. A new timeframe may need to be decided upon or some shorter term, milestone type aims generated. Similarly Reflection may expose a lack of detail in appreciating the current Reality. It is at this stage that awareness is most raised so it can be worthwhile to reflect and understand Reality more vividly.
I find the Reflection stage is a very good time to challenge any assumptions the coachee is making. Comments like "I've tried that before and it didn't work", "senior management will never agree" or "I'm just not able to do that" need challenging because they are not facts. Just because something was unsuccessful previously does not render it impossible for ever more. Senior management may not sign off the proposal but if we don't ask them the answer is already no. Nobody can know for certain that they are incapable of anything until they try. Remember the old saying; to assume makes an ASS of U and ME.
Coaches that allow their coachees time to reflect create an opportunity for a greater degree of honesty to emerge. If I ask you "Are you being totally honest with yourself?" I am not really accusing you of lying rather I'm encouraging you to go deeper. People who are unfamilair with answering coaching questions can sometimes give quite bland or lightweight answers in the first two stages (Aims and Reality). Here we can provide permission and encouragement to give more.
My personal favourite Reflection question is "What's really going on?" I have lost count of the number of times I have asked this and been greeted with a coy grin or a shake of the head. The answer that follows is invariably a more truthful, emphatic and revealing answer than what has come before.
My next article will build on this step by exploring how coachees can generate options.
Article Source: http://www.upublish.info
About the Author:
Matt Somers
Matt Somers is a leading voice on coaching in the UK where he writes, presents, trains and consults on all aspects of Coaching at Work. An author and regular conference speaker, he is currently producing a range of resources to help with the people side of working life. His popular guide "Coaching for an Easier Life" is available FREE at http://www.mattsomers.com
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